By Demyia Pridgen, Program Manager, ICCR & NTC
**This blog post is a fictional narrative intended to explicate themes of visibility, color, and the complex implications of strangulation for Black survivors of domestic violence**
His hands, large enough to palm an NBA basketball with ease, were wrapped tightly around my slender neck with enough pressure to crack an egg. 1 Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my little girl standing in the doorway, holding her favorite stuffed animal close to her chest. Voiceless, I silently mouthed to her, “Mommy loves you.” He said he was going to kill me, and I believed him. I tried to fight back, clawing at his grasp as the life in my body began to quickly fade away until I became limp. “He thought he was God, and my fate was quite literally in his hands.”2 Then, suddenly, he let go.
I stumbled to the bathroom, slammed the door shut, and stared in the mirror as tears flooded down my face like torrential rain, unable to recognize the woman looking back at me. Closing my eyes, the flashbacks of horror violently invaded my thoughts as I gasped for air, struggling to take a breath. I felt like I was drowning, bobbing up and down raging river rapids without a life jacket as my lungs filled with water. In and out of consciousness, my memory is fuzzy. I will never know why he let go. I will never know why he let me live. His grip left an ever-so-faint outline of fingerprints. Fortunately, my chocolate sun-kissed complexion of a Nubian Queen would have its advantages. These indistinct bruises were nothing a little concealer and a darker shade of foundation could not cover up. The night of my skin would hide the night of my terror.
The symptoms I could not see in the mirror were petechiae behind the ears, dizziness, headaches, difficulty swallowing, ringing in my ears, loss of bladder control, and a raspy voice. 3 Not all signs of strangulation are visible, especially on melanin-rich darker skin tones.4 On women who look like me. What can lack obvious signs of trauma and injury simultaneously poses a grave potential for death. One study found that non-fatal strangulation was far more common among “African American women who were about four times as likely to be killed or to become the victim of an attempted homicide by an intimate partner.”5 Moreover, another study sampling black women found that non-fatal strangulation in the context of intimate partner violence (IPV) is strongly associated with long-term physical and psychological consequences such as traumatic brain injury (TBI), depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.6 As states recognize the increased risk of lethal injury, the legal implications become clearer. Nonetheless, identifying and proving the act occurred without visible evidence remains a significant challenge for law enforcement, medical professionals, and prosecutors, resulting in racial disparity.4
Although Black women experience higher rates of IPV, we are less likely to access life-saving services due to direct or intergenerational structural racism, systemic failures, and a lack of cultural responsiveness, which create barriers and deter black survivors from seeking help.7 Regarding law enforcement response, strangulation symptoms are often under-evaluated and overlooked. Implicit bias also rears its ugly head, causing Black survivors to appear less credible when there are no signs of injury. We even face possible criminalization and being mistaken for the primary aggressor when physically resisting strangulation leaves injuries on the abuser.8 Thus again, in my very being, I am rendered invisible; unseen, and unheard. Failed by a system meant to protect, justice is elusive while I am faced with re-traumatization at every turn.
I struggle knowing no one will save me from drowning or pull me from the wreckage of violence. It is a pattern he will repeat again and again because choking to the verge of extinguish is his abuse tactic to maintain power and control over my very life. Strangulation is the last warning shot, and if I stay, I may actually become a part of the staggering statistics of Black women killed by intimate partners. It is often asked, “Why don’t you just leave?” This question grossly oversimplifies and lacks insight into the methodically insidious nature of domestic violence (DV) that entraps and creates manifold systemic obstacles impeding Black survivors from just leaving. Even thinking of breaking free causes fear that grips my throat just like that night. Victims know this fear all too well. Nonetheless, if strangulation denotes intentional use of lethal force, why don’t I choose to save myself?
These questions implore communities to train more professionals in recognizing, documenting, and responding to strangulation cases. It is imperative that law enforcement agencies strengthen policies and procedures concerning strangulation protocols, such as using evidence-based lethality assessments, using supplements to document both visible and non-visible signs of injury, and calling emergency medical services to the scene of DV calls when strangulation has occurred–even if the victim refuses. Additionally, forensic nurse exams utilizing alternative light sources that reveal latent bruising on darker skin tones are crucial to clinical assessments of strangulation, which can ameliorate the criminal legal response for women of color.9 We shall no longer be invisible.
Undeniably, we may internalize the harmful trope of being a ‘Strong Black Woman,’ causing us to deny or minimize the escalating, lethal risk of strangulation.8 I assert that survivor-centered advocacy that educates on the heightened dangers of strangulation, tailoring support for associated mental health and TBI concerns, and employing trauma-informed care (which meets you where you are) is the pathway toward Black survivors feeling seen. Ultimately, we must upend the one-size-fits-all approach of advocacy and service delivery. Culturally responsive services designed specifically for the unique experiences of Black women, which comprehend the intersections of our identities, are essential to improving outcomes for Black survivors.7
I’ll never know why he let go. I will never know why he let me live that day, but I’m taking my life back. So, basking in aliveness, I channel the indomitable resilience passed down from my mother and stand with purpose and power. I am invisible no more. May the world see me and no longer turn a blind eye to the reality of the black woman’s experience. I am choosing to write because I once heard, “One day you’ll tell your story about how you overcame what you went through, and it’ll be someone else’s survival guide.”
Reference List
- Love, Caroline. “Less Pressure than It Takes to Crack an Egg: The Strangulation Threat to Domestic Violence Victims.” KERA News, KERA, 25 July 2023, www.keranews.org/news/2023-07-25/less-pressure-than-it-takes-to-crack-an-egg-can-strangle-domestic-violence-victims. Accessed 18 Feb. 2026.
- “The Strangulation Chronicles: What abusers say about their use of intimate partner strangulation,” Ending the Violence, 2025, endingtheviolence.us/the-strangulation-chronicles1.html. #4
- “Signs and Symptoms of Strangulation.” Alliance for HOPE International, Training Institute on Strangulation Prevention, 4 Oct. 2023, www.allianceforhope.org/training-institute-on-strangulation-prevention/resources/signs-and-symptoms-of-strangulation.
- Brady, Patrick Q., et al. “The Darker the Skin, the Greater the Disparity? Why a Reliance on Visible Injuries Fosters Health, Legal, and Racial Disparities in Domestic Violence Complaints Involving Strangulation.” Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 25 Jan. 2023, p. 088626052211457, https://doi.org/10.1177/08862605221145726.
- Glass, Nancy, et al. “Non-Fatal Strangulation Is an Important Risk Factor for Homicide of Women.” The Journal of Emergency Medicine, vol. 35, no. 3, Oct. 2008, pp. 329–335, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2573025/, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jemermed.2007.02.065.
- Cimino, Andrea N., et al. “The Effect of Intimate Partner Violence and Probable Traumatic Brain Injury on Mental Health Outcomes for Black Women.” Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, vol. 28, no. 6, 26 Mar. 2019, pp. 714–731, https://doi.org/10.1080/10926771.2019.1587657.
- Waller, Bernadine Y, et al. “I Thought I Was Going to Die”: Identifying Gaps in the Intimate Partner Violence Service Provision System for Black Women.” Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 12 Mar. 2025, https://doi.org/10.1177/08862605251319020. Accessed 21 Mar. 2025.
- West, Carolyn. Part 3: Understanding Reproductive Coercion, Non-Fatal Strangulation, and Intimate Partner Homicide Technical Assistance Guidance Series: Serving Black Women Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence. Feb. 2024.
- Scafide, Katherine N, et al. “Predicting Alternate Light Absorption in Areas of Trauma Based on Degree of Skin Pigmentation: Not All Wavelengths Are Equal.” Forensic Science International, vol. 339, 1 July 2022, pp. 111410–111410, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.forsciint.2022.111410.
